Oct 31, 2021
I’m unsure of myself.
I’m scared of what others might think.
I used to be a bold tiger,
But now I’m just a slug.
I consider myself a human
And sure, that means I’ve got a soul,
But oftentimes I question
what that means
And for what and what for.
I’m unsure of who I was.
Memory doesn’t serve me right,
In fact, it doesn’t serve me at all-
I struggle with the simple recalls
And mocked when sand resurfaces.
I’m unsure. I’m unsure. I’m unsure.
I’m secure in the fact that with closure
I’ll figure it out.
It’ll take time, but for now
I think that surety is something
I’ll dream about and hope for
Until I am sure.
I feel so sad because the ones I love
are in pain and I can't do anything to help them.
Their eyes are guarded,
They seem to be saying they can't embrace me again,
be open again, take in love again.
It hurts me because I'm seen that way, too.
Seen as a thorn, a caustic, rotting thorn.
There to hurt,
to kick down and suck out anything that was
all that was there before.
As much as I yearn to protect
the hearts of those I love, I can't.
And they continue to look at me in pain,
questioning whether I be the rose
or the thorn that hides behind.
This is why I'm sad.
Because my relationships are broken and are not healing.
사랑 Diyana Love Wilson